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On Monday I went to the doctor’s to find out the results of the xray on my right arm, after it not working well, for about three weeks.

I had sat down and she’d begun to say, “Well, about your xray’s…”

The expression on her face had been that of someone telling another about a death, so I’d completed the rest for her: “The impingement is worse, the swelling is bad and, the raynauds is making the arthritis worse.”

Having said that, she had looked relieved somewhat, then told me the rest, “Well, the deterioration is worse and there is sign of previous damage to the ligament to the shoulder and…”

I acknowledged that I have ‘swelling beneath the scapula and reduced mobility and headaches on the left,’ where the impingement is bad.

She had responded by saying, “If it were anyone else… I’d send them to the physio.”

To that I had laughed, because I already knew what would come next.

“But, we both know that they won’t touch you…” she finished.

“’Coz they’d snap my back…” I added, still laughing.

Then I had quietened and with a smile I told her, “Well, I figure I’m dealing with it pretty well…” I meant, ‘for a depressive.’

She had assured me, “Yes, you are dealing with it well.”

Then as I arose, she had said to me with an expectant smile on her face, “We’ll catch up in a months time?”

And even now, as I write this I smile. My knowledge of the problem is helping me turn it around and make light of it, which is a hell of a lot better than being depressed about the situation…

COMMENTS

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RaynesAsylum
13:13 Feb 20 2014

I agree, your knowledge of it does and will help you cope/deal with it. You are in my thoughts. Keep smiling.

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POST COMMENT

Come Monday my arm was aching again, but I had got my end of the housework done, before Alex had called.



The idea had been to plan a short journey, quite quickly, to make up for the trip to Moel Fammau which we couldn’t have due to time constraints. As I had stood I had found that I had at on my glasses. That had changed my plans somewhat…



Our local optician agreed to look at them for me and straightened them, for me. But, I’m well aware that I need to buy new frames for them.

We had gone to Eastham Ferry and filmed the waves coming over the short pier, then gone for a pint at The Tap. The beer had been as good as I had remembered, but I had been somewhat miffed to see that where the pool-room had been was now being turned into a café, which was galling, as I recalled that place so well from my youth.



I got home with enough time to cook, before resting my knees awhile, before I’d sat to watch some CSI…



On Thursday I did the project and, with no Roger there’d been less of an atmosphere, so I do figure that at least, some of the awkwardness is down to him.



Friday morning the weather nearly stopped us going out to the shops, but we had gone out and missed the worst of the rain, although once everything was away, we had wiped down much of the exterior sills and windows of excess water. In the evening I’d seen Barry awhile, who was still chuffed to little mintballs that he’s been able to find a flat, in Bromborough of all places – a place he’s wanted to live for awhile.



The next day we had gone runaround, calling at The Railway in Bebington, where we had propped up the bar awhile, watching Liverpool beat Arsenal 5 - 1



Come Sunday morning, after a very stormy night and early morning, Dad had called through the closed bedroom, as I wrote: “I’m not wiping the side-windows this morning…” I’d laughed out loud, recalling the other morning and all we had done and, at the resolute sound to his voice…

Monday I heard a discussion on the Roger Phillips show about the ‘new’ database being sought containing all NHS patients, with access to ‘certain concern parties.’



Having already opted out of this scheme a few years earlier I had been more than a tad surprised that ‘they’ would be trying this again, quite so soon.



I had explained to my Father that this time it was an opt-out scheme, rather than an opt-in scheme. He hadn’t liked the idea of intrusions into his personal data any more than I had.



So, I had called at the doctor’s, on a walk and, gone to reception.



“I’m here about opting out of this ‘new’ database,” I’d told the short brunette with a ponytail and attractively patterned tights.



“Ah,” she’d said, then gone into the back. A blonde returned, with clipboard.



“I thought you’d be here soon,” she’d said to me.



Well, as it had transpired, I had not been one of the first to get off the database, this time, as there’d been several signatures on the form before me.



“When the codes come through, we’ll make sure you’re put not on the list…” Blondie had told me with a smile. So, I’d thanked her.



Then, having got what I wanted, I’d left the doctor’s a smile on my face. It’s not often that you can get one up ‘the Man’, even a little bit and, it overalls seem like “they are out to get us!”



Come Wednesday I went runaround with Barry in his car, listening to Frank Zappa. We’d gone looking for boots and overalls and parking had been fun. As we sought had one parking spec in Neston I’d witnessed him all but drool over a BMW for sale, although common sense had prevailed and, we’d driven onto Moreton Shore and The Shack, where we’d found parking almost right outside and got served quickly enough on a very cold wind sort of day. He’d had his ‘normal’ cheese and bacon in toast, I’d had mine two eggs ‘tween toast, pleased I get two at The Shack; elsewhere I have to ask for two, as desired. After our munch and a tea we’d driven off to continue our search for Lidl and cherry crumble, cherry jam and my chocolate. All-in-all, it’d been a pretty good day…



Days are days and, they change: come early Thursday morning I’d finished the latest story, then finally slept and woke to help with the housework. I hadn’t minded the last bit as the arm had been feeling alright, not good but alright.Going to voluntary work had ‘been fun’, as it had been effin freezing, then warmer and drizzly on the way home aftward. But, the night itself annoyed. Sure, it had been good to see Marc, Chloe and Em, but Roger’s attitude to me stank. The first bit that got to me was when he stood watching us serve meals, arms crossed and he said, “You can always stop coming, when you want.” Then, just before I’d left the church I’d asked for travelling expense, which I need and, rarely ask for. I had asked though, as I knew he would be going on a cruise. He had denied my request, saying he didn’t have it. This was after I’d phoned his at the weekend and left a message, saying what I needed. Almost all the way home I’d got to wondering about loyalty. And what does his action of late toward me say of loyalty and all the years I worked with him, on the project.